Monday, May 13, 2013


Why does Bates Motel have to tease me with little bits of goodness? The opening bit with Norman and his quasi-girlfriend's taxidermist father is wonderful, and perfect Psycho prequel stuff. Why? Because it lets us into what makes Norman tick, and even accentuates some positive aspects of his character. Guess what the rest of the episode is filled with? Same old side-plots and silly soulless "tension." Is the season over yet so I can stop reviewing it?

Dylan does some homoerotic bonding with his partner-in-crime in a good old-fashioned barfight. He also shows he has the guts to be a criminal head honcho by kicking a hippie out of a van. RIVETING!

The bypass storyline that hasn't been mentioned since the pilot gets a brief shoutout when Norma asks Sheriff Eyeliner for a political favor, and he promptly shuts her down. ENTHRALLING!

Emma tells some girls that Bradley slept with Norman, since they were dissing him and she's all protective of her boy(friend?). This upsets Bradley, which upsets Norman, who gets upset at Emma and then they make up next to Norman's stuffed dog. HAIR-RAISING!

Norman's teacher suggest he sees a therapist, and Norma agrees but sits through the session with him. Afterwards, the shrink tells Norma she may be a little controlling, which turns on Norma's incredulous anger mode. SPINE-TINGLING!

The Man in Number 9 does some mystery stuff and Norma follows him around. They dryly banter back and forth, and Norma kicks him out of the motel. He responds by digging up Deputy Shelby's autopsied corpse and putting it in her bedroom. ...Hey, that was actually kind of fun! Goddamn it, Bates Motel. Can't you just commit to this kind of kookiness weekly? With only two episodes left, I'm hoping we get a heap of corpses coming our way. If Norman can start doing his Psycho thing, maybe the show is savable. That's a big maybe. I leave you with my Freddie Highmore Face of the Week.

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